Anxiety was the only sensation that reigned now, the only legal tender-sinister, pervasive, standing full weight on the spine. I was afraid I was losing my mind; my body had turned traitor some time ago. But I needed to gather together all my remaining meager resources tonight, because this was the night I had to make a decision. The power of an individual decision.
Ross was giving a lecture in Bridgeport. He felt guilty about deserting me for the evening, but had agreed a long time ago to speak as a favor for an old friend and supporter, and stood vacillating whether to stay or go, silhouetted in the open doorway, brilliantly backlit, the sun setting red and gold behind him; a black-garbed priest wrestling between different righteous paths, a cat that won’t go in or out once the door is opened for it. Hell, he’ll just call and cancel.
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